So, last Friday, this acquaintance, we call him Ol' Son, comes by after his daily trail run in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve and announces that he's had an "epiphany." "I now possess total and complete understanding of the universe," he says.

Since Ol' Son has quite a history of Great Revelations - though usually it takes several whiskeys and/or another unfortunate female-related incident - I know to remain politely curious and deferential during his wisdom spewing sessions. Otherwise, he tends to get all ironic on you, which is much worse than just listening to the New Truth.

"I was running down that canyon looking for the poppy fields you told me about, I had the earbuds in and the MP3 player cranked..."

"Tool?" I guessed. "Of course not, it's still in the low 70s." I forgot. Ol' Son picks his training music based on outside ambient temperature: 60's to the mid-70s is twentieth century American classical composers; he doesn't get to alt-metal until it's 105.

"I was listening to Hovhaness," he sniffed. "Anyway, I spot the poppy field, pull up and wander out into the center of all these gold flowers and just stand there taking it all in; you know, absorbing the sun, light breeze, mystical music and a thousand gently waving poppies. It was a PERFECT MOMENT. I had achieved union with the spirit of the world. I thought: THIS is the true nature of the desert, the Earth, Everything."

Actual photograph of actual revelation-causing  poppy field.

"Is that when you had this epiphany thing?" I asked, hoping we were done.

"No. That's when then the damn buzz started!"

"The buzz?"

"Yeah," says Ol' Son, "I just spent 100 bucks on these earbuds and right in the damn middle of my perfect damn moment, they're buzzing! I was pissed. So, I pull 'em out and get ready to throw the damn defects into a Palo Verde tree when I notice there's still a buzz. A louder buzz, in fact. Comin' from the bush next to my right foot, in fact."

"Diamondback?"

"Huge!"

"A rattlesnake can play hell with serenity," I observed.

"And THAT'S the epiphany!" He's nearly yelling now. "Just when you get it all figured out - everything fitting perfectly into place - that's when the REAL Nature Of Everything sneaks up and tries to kill you!"

Fortunately, at that perfect moment, my cell phone rang. I lied and said it was an urgent business call and successfully escaped further immersion in The Truth... Until he comes back tomorrow.